Sunday, June 11, 2006

Angola v Portugal, ITV1

You don't expect to have a socio-political angle thrown at you at every early opportunity when you tune in for an ITV World Cup match, but that colonial aspect was the angle that Gabby and Peter Drury were willing to go on at length about to the detriment of, well, talking about the match. Indeed, Drury is still in the process of completing his analysis of local relations when Portugal nearly score. With that in mind, when Portugal did eventually score perhaps his declaration "the lords and masters are in charge from the start" could have been more tactful. Is this World Cup Live or Roots? At half time, the first half having eventually fizzled out into actual describing the action, Andy highlights Scolari missing a high five with his assistant, and as if it were 1977 the film gets shuttled back and forth a couple of times for extra comedy. They're working this 3D pitch, aren't they? Eventually they might find something they want to point out in greater detail on it and use it after the game rather than just at half time. Back at the game Pleat gets obsessed by whether Peter Crouch could have reached a high cross, and then whether Crouch on stilts might have, as Drury works in a Stoke Delilah reference. The second half is much of a muchness, only really springing into commentary life when Pleat declares Maniche "had such a quality time" in Euro 2004. Indeed, everyone is so laid back after a game that failed to produce a hammering that Andy actually makes a decent point comparing Pauleta's one up front play to Crouch's. Obviously, Gabby immediately leads him on to making a joke about an Angolan sub's hair.

What we've learned: Portugal still should be better than they are; Luis Figo still has it; Angola lack the self-belief, especially when they took their lead striker off


Blogger Ben said...

Angola didn't play too badly at all - had a really good spell in the first half. Portugal could probably have murdered them if they'd got an equaliser, though.

One thing I noticed about the commentary - Pleat bleating on about how the Angolans "will have won more friends". Yes, because that's what a tournament is all about, David...

Praising one of the Angolan midfielders, he did also say that he was "far too good to be playing in Kuwait - no disrespect to our friends there". What friends?! Who are you trying to kid, David? Maybe that's where this obsession with friends comes from - his own friendlessness. After all, this is a man who was prepared to pay for female company...

10:34 pm, June 11, 2006

Anonymous brookster said...

Angola could quite happily take Mexico or Iran if they keep their game up.

10:40 pm, June 11, 2006

Blogger Simon said...

Angola were good in parts, yes, but I'm not sure they had an attack in the second half, as if they'd become overawed. If Mexico score early they could be in trouble.

Underdogs "winning friends" needs to be added to the great cliche list, especially after Trinidad & Tobago. At what point does a team become so successful it has no more need for friends?

10:58 pm, June 11, 2006

Blogger paul said...

To answer the question about the first "naive defending" comment - Jimmy Arnfield on 5 live used the line immediately after the goal, so he wins in a time of approx 5 minutes!

11:01 pm, June 11, 2006

Blogger Matt said...

Bah, only seven minutes out then.

I was puzzled by the way Drury seemed keen to emphasise how bad the Angolan civil war was. It was a war, Peter! They're renowned for being pretty unpleasant! Although I was quite pleased that he did keep banging on about it, otherwise I might have been left thinking that he wasn't doing too bad a job, and this after thinking the same about Pearce this afternoon. I think the sun's getting to me.

12:30 am, June 12, 2006

Blogger Del said...

Ah, David Pleat was summarising. Thanks for letting me know that. I'm now extra pleased I didn't bother to tune in.

And, honestly, who would be daft enough to take off their lead striker?

12:36 am, June 12, 2006

Blogger SwissToni said...

1) are ITV worse offenders than the BBC in the 'patronising the Africans' stakes, or have they just had all the games featuring the plucky but naive underdogs?

2) What is the point of that pass completion thing ITV use at half time? What does it actually show? It's not like hawkeye with the cricket, is it? Oh look, most of Portugal's play goes through Figo, and most of his missed passes are crosses into the box. No shit.

3) Gareth Southgate. Really?

4) Whose idea was that godawful cover of "Heroes" that ITV are using as their theme tune? Credit for picking something from Bowie's German era (I see what you did there), but what's wrong with the original?

5) Why do the pictures of the world cup winners in the ITV studio need the year imposed on them? What year did Bobby Moore lift the cup again??

6) What are those silly stick on microphones all about?

I could go on, but I won't.


8:35 am, June 12, 2006

Blogger Del said...

Easy, ST, easy. It's ITV. Just let it wash over you. It could be a lot worse.

3:07 am, June 13, 2006


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