Terrestrial choices

When the BBC regained the rights to Premiership highlights, they went into hubris overload. ‘You love Match of the Day don’t you, aren’t we brilliant with our coverage,’ that kind of thing. Up to that point they were probably right but even the excuse of excitement of having a ratings and kudos winner back on BBC1 could not mask the sniffy superiority that, for me, was a bit of turn off.

It’s like Wogan on Eurovision. It seems recently he’s become more self-aware of his status as “the only reason people watch.” To my mind this has affected the performance, and where once the acerbic wit was charming and funny, it now comes across a little condescending.

You would think then, when it comes to football coverage, ITV would up their game to take away Auntie’s bask-friendly grandeur. However, when they allow the smug-a-thon between McCoist and Townsend to drift onto the pitch, they miss the trick on almost every level. They even ruined Des Lynam, the cads, although Ol’ Smoothy seems happy enough now, nodding off while Geoffrey Durham does close-up magic going into the ad-bumper conundrum.

So, with the BBC’s hoity-toityness in mind, I guess I should be quite happy that their World Cup finals trailer appears to serve only to highlight the cliché-proneness of their pundits and chunterers. Self-deprecation at last from the Corporation, you might think, although I imagine they see Hansen and Pearce et al’s metaphors and similes as examples of Coleridge-esque lyricality.

So, when it comes to England’s latter stage games, if they get there, and the final, who will you choose for your coverage when it’s split? The full-of-itself BBC, or the ‘bless them, they’re trying’ ITV crew? I’ve always been one for the underdog, but…

Judging by ITV’s ‘World Cup Heaven & Hell’ series currently on as build up, it doesn’t bode well. Come the finals themselves though, perhaps they’ll have some tricks up their sleeve to nicely tortoise the BBC’s overconfident hare.

I’m hoping for some innovation, maybe a snick-o-meter mic attached to every English metatarsal or perhaps a facility on Digital to mute individual pundits, maybe with an optional child-lock for the duration of the finals. My finger is hovering over the Pleat button as we speak.

Whatever's your poison, I hope you enjoy the tournament folks.